I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
