In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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