i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
cat food counts as protein by the way
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
