Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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