You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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