Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
No I am not eating basil off your cock
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
