dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
