My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Randomize
