i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
