some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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