did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
