Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
