I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
