Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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