TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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