I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
