It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
