what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
