they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
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