this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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