how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
