I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
