god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
