he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
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