i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
