Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Randomize