People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Sorry about my life...
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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