I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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