Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Randomize
