can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
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