Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
You've changed since you got that strap on
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
