We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
