similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Dear god my vagina.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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