you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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