You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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