All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I want a musical about memes.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
