update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
