By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
