Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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