is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
