i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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