And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
