im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
