Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
