yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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