Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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