apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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