im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Acid is not a monday night drug
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Tornado booty call.. dedication
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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