glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize