So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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