I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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