highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
