Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
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