i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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