i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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