and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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