We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize