Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
