Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
