the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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