I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize