Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
