I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
