I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
My vagina is very pro this idea
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