i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
