the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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