we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
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